Due to the very intersting reactions, I gave this post a push.
American soldiers in Iraq receive Cultural Smart Cards which, among other things, provide a series of “Do This” and “Don’t Do This” behaviors designed to avoid cultural misunderstandings. Some of these are quite obvious (e.g., “Never offer a Muslim alcohol or pork,” “Don’t engage in religious discussions”) others are less so (e.g., “Don’t make the ‘OK’ or ‘thumbs up’ signs; they are considered obscene,” “Don’t praise an Iraqi’s possessions too much. He may give them to you and expect something of value in return,” “Try all food offered to you, even if in small portions”). Go check them out and come back here again because the story is not finished yet.
IRAQ CULTURE SMART CARD 1 (PDF)
IRAQ CULTURE SMART CARD 2 (PDF)
What would a similar card look like for foreigners visiting the US?
–Try to Consume Coca Cola and McDonald’s Hamburger as much as possible for cultural integration reasons. I had to consume tons and tons of raw herrings in Holland for the same reason.
-“What’s up” can be a greeting. (learned it from the movies).
What else?
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How about:
‘The American word for football is Soccer; they have a game (which only involves the foot in a minor role) that they call football. Don’t confuse the two.’
‘Further integration can be had by drinking beverages at Starbuck’s Coffee shops every day. The most minor conmponent of these beverage is often the coffee itself.’
Raw Herring? Here in Sweden a lot of pepole eat –rotten– herring. They says that taste good, but it smells –shit– Well another tip for the travellers to US during december; bring a lot of small lamps i various colors.. The celebrate christmas that way. And bring a sock to..
Other greetings “Hey”, “Hiya”, “How ya’ doin’” (the response is “Fine. Yourself?” — this is not an invitation to complain unless the person can actually solve the problem).
If you want to get a salesman’s attention is to greet him with a *firm* “Excuse me”. If he is with another customer, just wait until he looks your way and wave you hand a little. He will nod and come to you when he finishes. If you don’t speak English well (he will probably only speak English), start with “I don’t speak English too well”. That will make everything else you say OK.
Americans generally speak only English. It’s not because they’re stupid or lazy. It’s because it is a big country and you can go long way without meeting anyone who speaks anyother language — even if they take a language in college, they rarely get to use it. The only other language, they are likely to encounter is Spanish, and it is just a fact of life that Americans will rarely suffer in America for not knowing it (but many do know it so don’t presume they don’t know what you’re saying).
Many Americans smile at everyone they pass or with whom they happen to have eye contact. It doesn’t mean she thinks you’re cute. It doesn’t mean he thinks he knows you or is coming on to you (it doesn’t mean he doesn’t and won’t either). It technically doesn’t mean anything at all other than you are there and he/she is acknowledging that fact. If you are a good looking woman and you find that smiling back gets too much attention from creeps, just don’t do it. You’re not required to.
When you go to someone’s house as a guest, one of the first things they might say is “Do you want to see the house?” This is a curtesy, and it is probably the only thing anyone will offer you for which it would be…well, not an insult… “stand offish” to refuse. They will then show you their bedrooms, bathrooms, spare rooms, special furniture, etc. Yes, we know it’s weird when we think about it, but its one of those self-replicating traditions that if we don’t do it, no one really feels at home yet, and they are always wondering “What’s behind that door?”
There is no down-side side to smiling at or “talking sweet” to a salesman or waiter/waitress. Some places view smiling to the staff, as a sign of lowering status. That is not true in America. Looking them in the eye is also important to ensuring good service. If your waiter is doing a lousy job, stop smiling but be polite — you’re not required to be phony.
Restaurant staff generally expect a 15% “tip” when you pay for your meal — this is payment directly to the person waiting on your table for adequate service. Waitstaff usually do not make minimum wage and depend on these tips to live. Pay them more if they impressed you. Pay at least a dollar for each person at the table even if it is more than 15%. If a waiter does a really bad job, you don’t have to tip him at all, but remember that it might not be his fault. Half the waitstaff may have not shown up and the waiter might be doing all he can just keep up. Also, remember that if you don’t tip him, he will be taxed by the government anyway as if you HAD tipped him 8%. It has become common for restaurants without waiters that come to your table and cater to your needs to provide a “tip jar”. This money is divided among those serving behind the counter at the end of the day. This strikes me as asking for a bonus for doing what they are expected to do anyway. For this American, the person taking my order will have t do something pretty impressive for me to contribute to the tip jar.
Americans find nothing offensive about the bottom of shoe. If they sit in a manner that lets you see it, it means nothing.
Showing the middle finger is an insult, of course, but if you use the middle finger to scratch your face, many people will think you are subtly trying to insult them.
If an American puts down his country or President to you, just smile and shrug your shoulders. This is not necessarily an invitation for you to do the same. Even if it is an invitation to do the same, another American listening might very well view your comment as an opportunity to tell you what HE thinks (which will that you should return home as soon as possible). You will have plenty of opportunities to yuck it up about the stupid Americans when get home — just as Americans enjoy laughing at the French and the Canadians here in the states.
I had most of this written up elsewhere. :-)
on the issue of food — it will vary by area as well as formality. For instance pizza is very popular in ny/nj/pa but is different than
pizza in the rest of the country. Cheese steaks are unique to Philadelphia. Etc.
Eye contact is generally avoided in the larger cities unless there is a reason for engagement.
We complain about the weather and traffic/transportatoin a lot
Do not take offense at somebody saying ‘oh my god!’ its usually
a supurlative and might be a subsitute for ‘I cant believe that
just happened’ or ‘oh no’ +=
I can’t really do one for the U.S., but I can do one for Texas.
Texan Hispanics are known as Tejanos. They are their own people. Do not call them Mexicans.
Do not, EVER, call a Texan a “Yank
[…]
Do not offer Pepsi to a Texan; it is forbidden.
All holidays except Thanksgiving and Christmas are traditionally celebrated with a barbecue. Juneteenth, July 4th, March 2nd, any one you can name.
Dr. Pepper…the national soft drink of Texas!
Texans and New Yorkers (the city) are too much alike to understand one another. Both consider themselves unique little countries within the US and both cannot understand why anyone in the world would want to live anywhere else in the world.
And both think there is something off-putting (“not quite right” or “creepy”) or inauthentic about the other (for TXns this even goes beyond the American opinion that NYers are rude).
If an American calls you a motherfucker, he is not necessarily insulting you. He is certainly not implying anything about your mother. It’s all in the context and the way he says it as to whether this is fond expression of friendship or a frank expression of contempt.
If an American calls you a ‘bad motherfucker’ this is actually high praise for how powerful or formidable you are.
These rules also apply to the expressions ‘fuck off’ and ‘go fuck yourself.’ And yes, this is why the French refer to us as ‘les fuckoffs.’
Remember that if an American uses the word fuck a great deal, do not assume that sexual activity is imminent.
If an American hits his forehead and says, ‘Oh, fuck me,” this is not an invitation.
Sequin is not entirely correct about Texas. I have barbequed for Thanksgiving (smoked turkey) and for Christmas (smoked ham) :) And Dr. Pepper is indeed the national drink of Texas
As for littlewhy’s comments: the use of ‘bad m*f*’ does generally show a lack of class by the speaker. The generous use of the f-word generally shows a lack of manners and originality (not that I haven’t used it from time to time; I spent 8 years working R&D at an industrial site). Excessive usage of a supposed ‘shock’ word deflated it’s use and the value of most words around it.
Here is a funny one on this subject.
No, Norweigians, Pres. Bush and his daughter did not exchange a “salute to Satan” (unless you went to Texas A&M University). That’s the salute to the University of Texas. lol
I am a German living in the US of A for a few years now.
The one thing I noticed over and over again is that Americans are rarely direct. If they ask you “if you have time to do this or that” it does not mean check your schedule and then get back to them with an answer. The question translates into “please do this, now”. Some might call this polite.…I call it confusing, but after 6 years learned to live with it.
uh uh.…got another one…well, actually three other ones:
1) NEVER discuss Gun Laws
2) NEVER discuss Religion
3) NEVER discuss Politics
unless you know the person REALLY WELL and even then you need to be VERY cautious.
My advise: Even if you THINK you know this person — do not touch these subjects.
Opinions about these topics are –in my experience– very black and white, even radical. If you are on the other side of the fence.…oh boy.
When asked about them, please do yourself a favor and divert to another topic. Just don’t go there…
“nowaddameen” is not one word. It may be derived from the Olde American philosophy question used to confirm mutual understanding.
If dining at some American homes, you may notice various sizes of plates on the walls. Do NOT attempt to use these for food or tea.
The word “like” is peppered throughout many verbal expressions (not so much in the written). It usually does not mean any fondness or attraction. Perhaps it’s like, as if, or like similar to like I like share some like ideas with like her and her like friends.
As an American married to an Iranian man, I have learned many things about our cultural collisions. Here are a few: Americans ask everyone where they are from: even other Americans. Do not take it as an insult or a comment on your language abilities.
Americans may use insults in a friendly manner: “Shut up” is not always rude. Neither is “f*** you” or “You pig” or any number of things that Iranians find unbearably rude.
If an American asks you if you want a drink (or anything else) that you do want, say “yes.” Don’t wait for them to ask again.
Many Americans feel that making a guest the center of attention will make the guest uncomfortable. This is absolutely the opposite of Iranian culture where the guest is always the center of attention.
A tip for dining at restaurants for non-Americans:
Americans eat out a lot. A whole lot. Unlike many countries, going to a restaurant for dinner is not an event where we plan to spend several hours chatting (although that sometimes does happen).
At many places, your server will often bring you the check before you are completely finished. This is not meant to be rude and is not an attempt to rush you out. It is simply a courtesy so that you may leave when you are ready without having to hunt down your server (who, in other countries, often disappears in order to give you space and privacy).
America is a very self-branded country, which new visitors might see as very parochial, or even mildly threatening.
For example, where another country’s news reader might start news stories with: “a third of people will die from heart disease” or “when children go back to school”, an American news anchor would probably say “a third of Americans will die from heart disease” or “when Americans send their children back to school”.
American advertising is filled with similar self-references to ‘Americans’ and ‘American’, far beyond that of any other country I’m aware of.
It’s also very hard to walk down most streets in an American town, large or small, without seeing American flags all over the place on buildings, on stickers, on vehicles.
In general, none of this is intended to be unfriendly to foreign visitors, and ordinary people don’t refer to themselves as ‘Americans’ all the time. It just seems to be accepted that the country and its popular culture are littered with reminders that you’re in America.
Do not be offended if a Native Texan calls you or refers to you as a “Foriegner”. To us, anyone not born and bred in this Illustrious state is and always will be a “Foriegn” person, no matter how long they have lived here or where else in the United States or other countries they have come from. This is also done, so that they can recognize each other as members in good standing with the “Good Old Boys”, as Native Texan Fraternal Organization that ALWAYS puts the interest of Members above anyone or anything else FIRST!!
These cards are so late it seems absurd. My best friend, a Capt Natl Guard was nearly disciplined for distributing a similar document to his transport group while in Baghdad. Maybe we should do the right thing and NOT distribute these so we can follow the Kissinger/Bremer Art of War Extension.
Oh, fuck off with your bullshit about raw herrings in the Netherlands.…you could’ve just said “No”. Your own patronising political correctness is just as demeaning as those ridiculous cards you’re trying to make fun of.
This was a good post & the comments were great & so true. I can see how it would be a good idea to have such a smart card for a ME vistor the American culture.
Don’t hold hands on the street with another man (if you are a guy). I saw this in Egypt everwhere. Espically don’t do it in Texas. They will think you are.…
Don’t be offend if people ask where you are from when we hear your accent. People are only interested. A few years ago every Arab you meet always said he was Greek. “I’m from Greece” yeah right “And I’m the Queen of England.” No.. we don’t think you are all terrorist. We want you to feel welcome. We are just overly curious.
Too follow up on my last comment, I have been Canadian in a few places myself. So I guess I am a hypocrite
The one thing I noticed over and over again is that Americans are rarely direct.
This varies New Yorkers are considered the most “direct” people in America. “Directness” depreciates in all directions from NY at roughly the same rate as the force of gravity. Other Americans call NYers “rude”. Southerners and near-Westerners say the same of “Yankees” (people from states that fought with the North in Civil War).
A European said “NY is the most important city in the world. But it is not the most important city in its own country.”
I think you’re on to something here CMARII. Attitudes vary widely from region to region. A multi colored map would definitely have to accompany this smart card!
I agree, Mike C.
Consider that (as has been already noted) that in the Southern States (most strongly in small towns) “Yankee” refers to coming from the Northern States is a mild insult denoting a variety of inclinations that would not make your “Mama” proud. But in the North Eastern states “Yankee” refers to natives of the small “New England” states and is a mild affirmation that suggests thrift, hard work, and a taciturn implacable nature.
Among Americans, only members of a particular New York baseball team refer to themselves as Yankees.
Incidentally, Ladybird, the term “Yankee” goes back to the days of New York’s founding by the Dutch. “Jan Kees” was a term for a farmer, a rural “hayseed” or “hick” (both derogatory terms) and was a term of British Soldiers for the American forces (just as the US soldiers refer to the terrorists in Iraq as “Haji”).
Outside the US borders, “Yankee” refers to any American, LION. Only in very specific contexts, with clarifying modifiers, does it specifically refer to the NE, or even the N, of the States.
I can think of at least 8 distinct regions, each with it’s own cultural peculiarities, but there’s probably more.
Americans are a friendly lot. If passing and eye contact is made, a brief nod and smile acknowledges a friendly contact. Driving in America is very regulated;drive friendly. Americans say Thank You;even to servants. American men often hold the door open for women to pass thru first. If you are not sure, do not smoke in a restaurant, hotel etc, ask if it is ok before lighting up. Not all Americans behave nicely, just ignore those who don’t. Please and “thank you” are always appropriate; all parents teach their children this. Americans tend to eat with left hand in their lap using the left hand only for cutting meat or lifting a drink. This is compared to Euro’s who eat with both hands in sight.
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